| (no subject) |
[Feb. 21st, 2005|03:28 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sad | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Mars Volta - Miranda, that Ghost Just isn't Holy Anymore | ] |
It's been three years nearly, but now it's finally time to put old Eagler to rest.
I've learned that there are people in this world that I can trust, and people in this world that I simply can't - and it hurts me to say it.
No, this doesn't mean I'm leaving the LJ community as a whole. I'm getting a new journal, and if you want to know it, seek me out and I'll gladly tell you what it is. Some of you I'll simply add once I get my footing in my new journal. No, most of the communities I'm in now I will not rejoin unless I really want to. I'm starting again from the ground up.
This really is a sad day for me, because Eagler4040 was the first online persona I ever had, and now the last remnant of it's existance is dying.
So, to those of you this applies to, I'll see you soon. Others, this is goodbye.
Goodbye.
...ps. my new lj is ______autodafe. I was gonna be all secret-y about it, but I don't really care that much. It's simply a matter of adding some people and not adding others.
...bitch. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 21st, 2005|01:49 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | angsty | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Mars Volta - Televators | ] |
Yeah. Today was cool, I guess.
I dunno.
I feel sorta weird about everything lately.
I totally just stemmed. By myself. A little bit low?
Now I'm gonna do a survey.
( cut for kindness )
Alright, so this quiz has now officially depressed me. I'm gonna go wallow on my bed in angst. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 20th, 2005|11:26 am] |
This weekend has been pretty cool so far, considering the whole grounded thing.
Friday "rehearsal went until about 1:30."
...sure. We (me and Kyle) drove over to Chestnut's, chilled for a bit, went out to Elliot's birthday thing (yay!) and saw SO many people! Jesus fuck. I hadn't seen Katie or Dana in ages. And I finally met the infamous Yanna! She's gonna make me a Toast comic. We're the Purple Power Twins. :D
Oh yeah, we were all ridiculously stoned at the time. w00t. Well, I mean, those of us who had crowded into that one guys van. Haha that was fun. "OMG gimme your Pepsi. I need to ash." I didn't even know that guy, haha.
At some point we were at Yani's and hot-boxed her closet. I dubbed it another one of those 'DAYUM moments.'
The Dayum Story...
A 'Dayum!' moment is when you're doing something so shady that if a police guy just sorta walked in and saw what you were doing, he wouldn't say anything like '...have you kids been smoking?' he'd just be like, 'DAYUM. You kids are goin to JAIL!'
So far there have only been two moments like that - the hotboxing at Yani's house and one time in the Lair when there were like two dozen half drunk bottles of Corona on the table. :P
Gooodtimes. Ok, so yesterday I went to rehearsal at school around 11ish, which was chill. Went out with Ellie for a Noodles run. Yumtastic. Was gonna go to IHOP with some people but then I didn't cause... A. IHOP gives me the heebie-jeebies ever since I stopped going to Rocky for some reason and, B. I didn't want to waste any more money on food. So Kyle and I hopped in the car and we went to go get his oil changed. That fell through, they didn't have the oil filter neccesary. So then we went to pick up a razor for the show. We didn't realize till later that it wasn't cordless. Pish posh. Then we drove all the fuckin' way out to Fair Lakes to get shoes. They almost didn't accept his card, that would've sucked. Then we drove ALL OVER CREATION to Falls Church to get some bud, then to Chestnut's to chill. He was working, his brother was home. We were just going to go out to the lair and chill but he didn't like that - but he said it was fine for us to just chill in the house. Then Tammy came! And Dr. Dre's Behind the Music was on. And it made me realize how much I liked that style of music - at least how it was before, not now. I'm totally downloading The Chronic right now. Anyways, the entire FC Crew showed up at some point and wanted to use the lair. Tammy didn't let them, so they left. I felt kind of bad cause Kyle and I had sort of done the same thing - but I guess it's different cause Kyle and Daniel are like uber friends? I dunno. But so then they came BACK and used the Lair without even asking them, there was much ass kicking. Then Kyle and I left cause he had to drive me home cause he had to go to his school's Sadie Hawkins dance with a freshman girl, hah.
Then I came home, chilled with my mom for a bit, ordered chinese food, watched Teen Titans, then went to sleep listening to music. :) it was cool.
All the while insert bad feelings about missing Katsucon and Courtney's skit the entire time. Part of me all weekend was like 'Well if I'm out of the house now, couldn't I run to Katsucon?' but it wouldn't have worked any way I tried to think about it. I hope you guys did awesome last night!
Today is just a chill at home day, since there's no rehearsal. Maybe I'll have some people over.
EDIT: Haha! So the skit I would've been in won one of the judges awards at Katsucon! Yay! There are some scandalatious pictures of the guy who replaced me as Vincent/Sailor Mars that would've been me had I been there. Heehee. I wish I could've been there, you guys. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 18th, 2005|01:53 pm] |
Well aren't you the petite sophisticate?
rolfcopter |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 17th, 2005|09:30 pm] |
wHen u aLready sTart reaDing tHis dO'nT sTop or eLse sUmtin baD wiL haPpen... My name is Teddy.. I am 7 years old with blonde hair and scary eyes. I Have no nose or ears. I am dead. If you do not send this to 15ppl in the next 5 minutes, I will appear tonight by your bed with a knife And kill you. This is no joke something good will happen to you tonight at 10:22. This is not a joke someone will call you or will talk to you online and say I love you. do not break it
I HATE THESE THINGS BUT BECAUSE IM FUCKING OCD HERE IT FUCKING IS.
i fucking flipped out at the girl who sent me this.
sorry. i <3 you amanda. but right now i didn't fucking need that. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 17th, 2005|07:56 pm] |
I've never been more angry in my life.
I'm seriously clawing at the walls.
She's really done it this time.
I don't care about the stupid thing. I didn't even want to go - but I knew I had to, because I had to be a part of Courtney's skit.
But now she's not lettting me go. TWO DAYS BEFORE. Because of something that I did, dealt with myself, and got over. Something that involved PRODUCTS that she owned. And she doesn't care that I took them and got fucking addicted to them and then had a hard ass fucking time getting over them, she just cares that I went through her stuff. I could understand if I was getting punished for DOING IT, but no, I'm being punished for going through her stuff.
If this was any other weekend I wouldn't be as angry, but this is the one weekend I really needed to be able to go and do this for Courtney. And now because of my fucking mother I can't, and I hope to high hell that Courtney can find someone else to do it. And I know she and everyone else involved and who knows about this is never going to trust me with anything again. And I'm going to get killed. And I deserve it.
Who am I fucking kidding, this is all my goddamn fault.
So to anyone who's affected by this, I'm really fucking sorry.
In other news, Goodbye.
PS. I got the role I wanted in the spring play. But apparently I may not be able to do it. And if that happens...goodbye. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 14th, 2005|07:52 pm] |
I'm getting more and more excited for Katsucon as the week goes on. Yay.
My computer is randomly getting a shitload of popups and turning off randomly sometimes. Anti-yay.
Everything is cleared up now, so no akwardness or anything. It's just funny. Yay!
Madonna still rocks. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 13th, 2005|08:58 pm] |
So that was agonizing. (The dinner. With the parents. Jesus. I try to tell them something important to me and they just overblow and misinterpret it. Whatever.)
I'm coming to Katsucon for Saturday only. It's all the money I can get will allow.
Friday I'll prolly just go somewhere and chill. Yay.
I feel really bad, though. I feel flakey. I feel like I can't be held up for my end of the bargain, I can't be trusted. Even for something like an anime convention skit. It just bothers me.
But I'm coming, so I'll do it. And it'll be bombast. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 13th, 2005|05:35 pm] |
My life is getting more and more fucked up - part of me loves it. part of me hates it.
Love - it's the Eris inside of me, the pure essensce of chaos longing to get out and manipulate events and people to create as many possible crazy happenings. Is that bad?
hate - It's getting harder to control myself. And others.
This is all about control. I can't let myself go either way, so which way do I go?
I'm really getting into the Ray of Light album again. Good pop = good.
I'm going out to eat with parentals tonight. Fun times.
I'm supposed to go to Katsucon next weekend - but I don't think I have enough money. Or the motivation. But I'm supposed to be in Courtney's skit, so I really have to be there. I think that will be decided tonight - if I'm going or not. It's totally up to my parents - Courtney, if I can't go, I'm really sorry.
But then again part of me just wants to lay back and chill for the weekend, and the convention will be the opposite of chill. Which isn't neccesarily a bad thing. But I'm not sure if I'm really up for it or not.
We'll see. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 13th, 2005|03:12 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | omg wtf? | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Prodigy - Girls (bitches!) | ] |
OMG WTF
hahaha
drizzunk
SHES FEELIN BOOZEY oh snap oh snap
THIS will be a story to tell for ages to come! I PROCLAIM TO ALL
i dont even know whats going on. the specifics.
I'll learn later FROM BOTH SIDES |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 12th, 2005|03:39 am] |
I didn't win that GMU playwriting competition. I didn't expect to. Oh well, good expirience over all. (The play I wrote blew anyway.)
Today was...long.
Got stranded over at Chestnut's house for a while. Had to get dad to come pick me up at like 2. No good.
Blah. Whatever. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 10th, 2005|01:40 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | deathcab for cutie | ] |
Every day I love death cab for cutie more and more. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 7th, 2005|11:29 am] |
My hair is getting quite long and poofy. I know I said I'd grow it out, but I don't know how much longer I can withstand it. Or maybe I'll get it straightened, or something.
Or maybe I'll just grow a jew-afro and become the next member of The Mars Volta. Whatever.
I'm bored. Stayed home from school - I actually DO have a cold, so...it's not totally lying, but... eh. I'm bored. I think I'd rather be angry and reading/writing during class right now than just sitting at home being unmotivated. I seem to get my best work done when I'm supposed to be doing something else.
Anywhore, I've got an orthodontist appointment around 3 today. Getting my braces off, yay. And then I'm just gonna chill some more. Mmm. Chilling. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 6th, 2005|10:22 pm] |
You're the Tortured Intellectual!
Take What sort of Hipster are you? today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.</p>You're sensitive, you're emotional, and you wonder why everyone else in the world exists on a different plane. You cannot eat, breathe, or sleep without analyzing each action to death. You're usually sombre, depressed, lethargic, but you can be nearly glad from time to time. You wear whatever you can find on your cluttered bedroom floor. You carry books, notepads, reading glasses with you wherever you go. You have friends, but only a few who truly get where you're coming from. You frequent coffee shops, libraries, and the less crowded bars. You're obsessed with past people, past ideas, past lives. You wish you could die and be reborn as Jack Kerouac.
So at first I was like 'Omg. That's so not me' but then I was like '...dammit, that's totally me.'
Anyways, back home at moms now, thank god. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 6th, 2005|02:24 pm] |
All my creativity is gone for now.
Oh well.
I had a crazy long dream that I'd love to type out and make into a story but I'm sincerly lacking in the motivation department right now.
The GSA dance was last night. I'm hearing so much about it and how there were so many people there I wanted to see/meet. Ugh.
Whatever. I have to deal with today and get through dad's stupid superbowl party without strangling anyone/getting too drunk and then tommorow school will be fine because I'll have Ulysses with me.
Ugh. |
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| sleepdeprived |
[Feb. 6th, 2005|04:44 am] |
excuse me ma’am. you have a spider on you rheart
it could possibly burn you out if youleaveittherebutican
help you?
if you let me.
nono?youdon’t understand? rewind.
this scene is in both. interconnectingintertwiningweareallthesame
reality? it exists.
time? it doesn’t exist. we are all shadows.
the past didn’t happen it’sstillhappening and we are co-existing with ourselves, the ‘us’ who has been before us. I lie here on my bed alongside myself as I was a few minutes ago. sononeofthisreallyhappenedok?
but that’s just a thought.
PS. we will all become echoes when the time is right |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 6th, 2005|01:58 am] |
So here I am, back home. Fairfax metro station. Dad and his girlfriend are trying to figure out the exitfare machine. They're idiots when it comes to 'normal people' things. Their own words. Scott, Kyle, Majid, and those girls they're always with walk through the metro gates and are like 'OMG ITS ROBERT.' I turn my head away from spacing out and sigh. I approach them while the parental tries to figure the machine out - I'm far too apathetic to help. They say they were in DC having fun, without boring people. They saw Eric's band play. I smile. Good for you. I say I was in DC. With boring people. I say I have octopus. I ponder offering them some but they wouldn't accept it, I'm sure. We talk for a moment. I say Bye. And follow after Dad to go home.
Such is being grounded.
I went into DC.
We met up with this business major.
He represents all that I despise about modern culture.
We go to a snooty, bad restaurant.
I eat some of my food, but leave the rest. Can I box this?
We go home.
I read some of Ulysses on the way, it's amazing. Italics mean you're impersonating someone, according to James Joyce. (I'm impersonating myself.)
I thought about forcing weird anime on Dad and his girlfriend, but I'm far too nonexistant right now to be that pushy.
Yes. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 5th, 2005|05:25 pm] |
I was bored. And i was feeling creative. so i decided to enter into the Gorillaz Search for a Star contest, we'll see where that goes.
Because of this, I typed up a piece of poetry I've recently finished. I only submitted parts III and IV to the contest. You all get to see the whole thing, whopeee.
( Prometheus Suite. I - V. )
Yeah, there's a shitload of formatting and even some color that I'm too lazy to HTML and shit. Whatever. Enjoy, if you bother to read it.
...i actually did work really hard on this one, too. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 5th, 2005|02:38 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | The Mars Volta - Cut that City | ] |
Eew. I really want to go to the GSA dance at Falls Church. And theres so much stuff I'm supposed to do today but I can't cause im grounded and being dragged into DC. No bueno.
Oh well. :P |
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eagler4040's journal